Wish You Were Here

Summer By the Numbers: A few hair-raising facts and figures about high-summer hijinx — when party merriment turns to party mayhem



Unlucky free spirits caught urinating on the beach in 2016 by the East Hampton Town Police Department and charged with a violation of town code. Public-nuisance and quality-of-life issues, the chief says, are behind a major recent surge in citations: littering, open booze containers, sleeping it off on the sidewalk, etc.


Bail, in dollars, set for an 18-year-old Shelter Island man who, police said, had left a high school house party at 4:30 a.m. drunk-driving a go-kart, travelling two miles with one teenage girl on his lap and another clinging to the back. The charge was felony D.U.I., because the passengers were underage.


Tickets issued for unlawful beach bonfires east of Town Line Road last year as local governments started cracking down on crackling. (You need a metal container, folks.) Number of sleepers who found out the hard way that, while a Blue Lagoon moment sounds romantic, camping on the beach is illegal: 37. 


Record-setting number of auto accidents in East Hampton Town over July Fourth weekend, 2016. East End roads are overcrowded, and that always makes them treacherous, but debaucherous holiday weekends are especially bad. Stay safe this Independence Day. Don’t drink rosé and drive. There will be dragnets.


Marijuana-laced, homemade crispy-rice-and-marshmallow treats confiscated last August from a Montauk-bound S.U.V., whose driver was also toting 300 vials of hashish oil; five pounds of concentrated cannibis gel; and a pound of pot. Officers reported that they could smell the goods as they approached the car.


Calls to East Hampton emergency services this Memorial Day weekend. Ambulances were dispatched 67 times, and fire departments responded 40 times. The number-one cause of lacerations resulting in an ambulance call, sources say? The slicing of avocados. Who knew trendy toast could be so dangerous?


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